Don't Tell Flower I Said That
by Detouredbe
Summary: The story is actually about Bambi and Ronno, but Flower's titular significance is revealed at the end. When the two fawns happen by chance upon an abandoned human camp, Bambi ends up having to help Ronno out of a rather ridiculous situation.


**I just couldn't put poor Ronno in such a terrible plight as I did in "Woman Was in the Forest" without coming up with something much sillier to counteract the material in that story. I decided to take a trip down Random Lane, and see what was new there. Lo and behold, this idea surprised me, and I thought, "Why not?" It shows one more way Man can cause trouble for the animals of the forest, this time without even trying, and with a much more humorous result. Despite the title of the story, Flower actually has only a bit part in the final scene; the story is mostly about Bambi and Ronno, and what happens to them after Ronno impulsively consumes something I'm sure Man regrets, for his own reasons, that he left behind! Despite their mutual dislike Bambi naturally has to be the hero and get Ronno out of there before any trouble comes about, and that proves to be more of a problem than it's worth.**

**I'm not sure when exactly this would take place; it is during their childhood of course, and it would have to be some time after Bambi and Thumper's escape from Ronno, as that point is referenced here. I suppose since it's a random, "how would they react to this situation" sort of idea, it doesn't really matter whether it could fit in or not. So, with a final note that all copyright goes to Disney and Felix Salten, here it is:**

Bambi is happily trotting along, admiring the scenery, and thinking about meeting up with Thumper and Flower to play, when all of a sudden a dark creature bounds out from behind a log, knocks him over, and pins him down.

"RAARGH!" Ronno yells into Bambi's face, then bursts out laughing.

"Ugh, don't sneak up on me like that, Ronno!" Bambi protests in disgust, glaring up at the older fawn. He is not at all amused by Ronno's attack, and wasn't intended to be, either.

"Aw, did I hurt the little Princess's feelings?" Ronno coos, adding, "Well, here. Let me make up for it! Ha!" He then begins rolling Bambi back and forth on the ground with his forelegs, chanting taunts at him all the while.

"Just leave me alone!" Bambi says, pulling out from under Ronno and walking off.

"No, Bambi! Don't go that way!" Ronno suddenly sounds very frightened.

"What? Why?" Bambi turns back to him.

"Uh, there's Man! Right behind that tree! Quick, over this way!" Ronno then turns and runs in another direction.

Bambi didn't see Man, but he's not going to take a chance, and runs after Ronno.

Seeing that Bambi's fallen for his old "I saw Man" trick again, Ronno quickly jumps aside and lets Bambi fall into a ditch. "WHOA!" The young prince cries out as he lands in a pool of mud.

"That's for making me land in the mud after trying to chase ya!"

"Pthwaw!" Bambi spits out a bunch of mud. "I never _made_ you fall in the mud! You jumped coz you wanted to!"*

"Only coz you knocked me over!" Ronno responds.

"I did not! Thumper pushed me into you!"

"Aw, Bambi! Don't bwame the cute wittle bunny-wabbit!"

In a moment of uncharacteristic sarcasm, Bambi grins devilishly and says, "You said it, not me!"

"What? Oh - grr!" Ronno pounces in after him, before it hits him he's willingly jumped into mud. Bambi laughs good naturedly and climbs out before scampering off.

"Come back here!" Ronno yells, recovering and giving chase in anything but a good natured way. The two juvenile bucks continue running a good distance, until they see something that makes them both stop in their tracks. From the remnants of burnt sticks in a circlet to the ceremonious arrangement of logs surrounding the sticks, to the decaying angular structure, they realize they've stumbled onto Man's camp.

"I - I think we should go back," Bambi remarks.

Behind Bambi, Ronno's teeth stop chattering and he turns indignant. "What? Are you scared of Man?"

"You know he's dangerous, Ronno!"Ronno refuses to show his fear to Bambi, and Bambi's words of wisdom make him even more determined to appear bold and daring. "I'll bet he's not even here! Look! If he was here, he'd come out and get us!" Ronno proudly struts over to the tent. "Anybody home?" he calls out, beginning to lift the flap with his head.

"Don't go in there!" Bambi cautions.

"I'll be alright - _I'm_ not a coward, unlike someone I know!" Ronno turns back to Bambi and smirks, before stepping inside.

"Grr… For the last time, I'm not a coward!" Bambi retorts, marching over to join Ronno in the tent.

"See? Told ya nobody's here!" Ronno surveys the inside of the structure curiously, wondering why Man goes to such trouble in preparing a shelter.

"Say, what's this?" Bambi asks, nosing a hard, cool, cylindrical object with a narrow end on the side. "It smells like berries!"

"Berries?" Ronno licks his lips. "I'm getting kinda hungry… move outta the way!" He shoves Bambi aside and picks up the narrow end of the object in his mouth. "It doesn't taste like berries!" He spits it out, disappointed. The object lands on the ground, and part of it cracks off. A dark red liquid flows out onto the ground.

"Oh no, Ronno! It was an animal! You've killed it!" Bambi mourns.

When the object broke Ronno was just as surprised as Bambi, but inhaling the rich, tempting aroma of berries again he ventures to examine it more closely. "This isn't blood," he concludes. "It _does _smell like berries!"

"Huh?" Bambi looks more closely at it. He ponders for a moment why, if it is berries, it looks so different. "I wonder why it looks like red water," Bambi comments quietly, to himself, adding as an afterthought, "it must be a bunch of juice _from _berries!"

"Just juice? Hah! Man is so dumb," Ronno criticizes, having eavesdropped on Bambi's personal conversation. "Crushing'em in your teeth's the best part!" It does smell good though, and even if it is just juice it'll help fill his stomach at least. "Well, I dunno 'bout you, but I'm gonna try some anyway!"

"No, don't do it, Ronno! We shouldn't trust anything of Man's!"

"Don't be a baby. Nothing's wrong with berries!"

"What if they're the poisonous kind?" Bambi asks, barring Ronno's path to the object with his leg.

"Then why's Man drinking their juice?" Ronno replies, flicking Bambi's leg out of the way with his own.

At first Bambi can't think of any reason, but then a morbid thought enters his mind. "He might've left it here as another way to trick us animals!"

Ronno's challenging look changes to one of reluctant agreement as he takes this in. "Maybe you're right," he says. They each turn to leave, but then Ronno's appetite gets the better of him. As Bambi makes his way out of the tent, Ronno turns back and begins to unscrupulously gulp down the juice that's still in the partly broken container. It tastes rather strange, and almost makes him gag. For a moment he thinks Bambi guessed correctly, and that he's just killed himself. "Oh, Mommy! Help!" he cries.

"Ronno! You didn't!" Bambi comes back inside and sees Ronno beginning to stagger about the tent. "What have you done!"

"Hiccup! I drunk the berry juice, what'sit look like?" Ronno slurs.

"What?" Bambi stares at Ronno, confused. He doesn't normally sound like that when he talks. Plus, he looks like he's unwell; his eyes are unfocused and he has a rather stupid look on his face.

"I say I drunkabree-hee jooze, whazzit loo-like?" Ronno grins, before falling to his knees laughing. Bambi stares at his companion in fright; the juice has done something to him, that's for sure. The realization makes Bambi want to get away from this place even more, and while there is certainly no love lost between himself and Ronno, he will undoubtedly face trouble if he goes back without him. Besides, he just wouldn't feel right if he did. "Come on, Ronno, let's get back home. You don't look so good."

Ronno, lying down with his legs sprawled out all around him, stops laughing and gives Bambi a death glare. "Don'tcha tell me I done look good!" he yells, scrambling to his feet in order to lunge at Bambi, only to fall back down in a heap. "I'm the bess lookin' buck in the whole forarorarest! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ronno begins kicking his legs in the air laughing. "LalalalaLAAA! There's nevwer been a buck as hanshom ash ME! Me, mememememememeMEEEEEEEEE!"

Bambi winces, listening to Ronno's atrocious singing, and generously hopes that it's just the effects of the strange berry juice. "Come on, Ronno. Let's go home. Please?"

"Pleeease? Pleezey-pleezey-PLEEEZE? Hah! Who sahays 'Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeze' anymore?"

"I did, now come on!" Bambi tries to nudge Ronno to his feet.

"Okay, okay, okay. I mean, okay! Jus-jus-just, uh, here's this. Jus' lemme get somma this nice juice for Mommy, okay?" Eyeing Bambi, Ronno slithers his way over to the bottle and nearly laps up the entire quantity of the remaining liquid inside. "Mmmmmmm, yummy! Momma's gomma lomma that!" he somehow manages to declare even while slurping up.

Bambi, now more exasperated than concerned, shakes his head and says, "Now come on, Ronno, or your mother's gonna worry!"

"Nah, she'll be fine! She done need me an' I done needer!"

"I thought you wanted to give some of the juice to her?"

"Bulshweeeah! She needza cut back anyway!" Ronno rolls his eyes, annoyed at even the thought of taking any of the juice home to his mother when he could have it all for himself right here, instead.

"Come on, Ronno! _Please _get up!" Bambi pleads with him.

"I'm up! I'm up! See?" Ronno rears back and dangles his forelegs in Bambi's face to show him. "Everything's gonna be fine! Ronno's up an' on his way! Lalalalala!"

"Ronno? Can I ask you something?" Bambi inquires, moving his head out of the way of Ronno's hooves.

"Sure, whattza frien' for? Although… I'm not your frien', so NO!"

"Okay, but could you please stop singing?"

Ronno slumps down in surprise. "You can hear me sinnin'? Here, I'll be louder: LA-la-la-la-LA-LAA! La-la-LA-LA-la-la-la-LAAA! LAAA! LAAAAAAAAA! There ya go! Hooray!"

In that moment Bambi decides he wouldn't mind in the least if his father magically happened by here and caught him in Man's dwelling, as long as he could help him get Ronno to cooperate.

/

Eventually Bambi manages to get Ronno out of the tent by letting him drape himself over his rear, chin resting on his back. He hasn't succeeded in getting Ronno to shut up yet, however…

Swinging one leg about in the air, Ronno relates to Bambi a supposed deal he made in the past: "An' _then _there was the time I tol' Man to tell me what I tol' him _not _to tell anyone else, and I said I'd _clobber _'im till only the birds - the _birds_, I say - could get me to stop, if he _ever_ told anyone what he'd _never_ tell me to tell him! Do ya understand me?"

"Not really!" Bambi mutters under his breath, rolling his eyes over his rambling burden.

"Huh? Wha?"

"Never mind."

"Y'know something, Bambi?" Ronno leans back against the young prince's back. "Y'wanna know what I think?"

Bambi sighs, then says, "Okay. What do you think?"

"I think you are the swellest, most handsome guy! Of all the creatures in this forest! An' I always have, mm-hmm!" Ronno nods firmly, in case Bambi rejects his claim.

"Uh, thank you?" Bambi is not very comfortable hearing this, but won't give up being polite over it.

"An' that's jus'what I'm mos'unhappy about! You're so, so _nice_! An' you're so, _so _good-looking! An' everybody thinks that, it shows! You know, you know I just… I jus' really, _really _wish someone would say _I'm _hansom, right? Someone not my Mom? Y'know what I mean? I jus', I want it so badly! I'jus' drives me crazy no one's said it yet!"

All at once, Ronno's pathetic jealousy, coupled with his ridiculous present behaviour, tugs at Bambi's heartstrings. Deciding to humour him, Bambi replies, "Well, alright. If you want to know the truth, _I _think you're a handsome guy."

"Aw, thanks! Wish I could say the same for you! HAHAHAHAHA!" Ronno snorts and slides off of Bambi's back, curling up into a laughing ball on the ground.

"Aw, Ronno!" Bambi complains, all his sympathy faded again. "Do you have any idea how hard it was to get you up the last time?"

"Uh, well, lemme see… I think you were over there, by that tree. No, not the one there, the one right on top of it, over… there!" Ronno points first at one tree a small distance away from them, and then at another one off to another side. "An' then I told you I would never, ever, _ever _say what I thought was going to happen next! Coz you know, your Dad would be _all over_ me if I ever got out of it alive! That's how we did it! I know! Hahahahahaha-HA!"

Bambi shakes his head and sighs. It's going to be a long day…

/

Evening is drawing close as the Great Prince of the Forest anxiously searches for his son. Bambi shouldn't be out playing this late, and he fears something has happened.

Suddenly he hears a young-sounding voice singing some peculiar song. The Great Prince listens carefully for a moment, then hears another, familiar fawn's voice saying, "Please, Ronno! Please just stop it! Please!"

"He said please! Ya hear that, _please_!,

Oh, Ohohoho!

_Sincha been gone! Sincha been gone!_

_I'm outta my head, can't take it!_

_Could I be wrong _-"

"Bambi!" the Great Prince runs to meet his son, noticing with intrigue the way that a very trashed Ronno has one foreleg sloppily draped over Bambi's shoulder, swinging the other willy-nilly as the two of them make their way, ever so slowly, in Bambi's father's direction. Both relieved and afraid, Bambi is about to explain matters, but before he can begin Ronno's singing cuts him off.

"_Ohhh, oh! Whoooaaa, oh! Ohhh, oh!_ Uh, how does it go again?"

"Where have you been?" The Great Prince demands of his son, ignoring Ronno's lack of vocal inhibition.

"We, uh, well," Bambi swallows. "Y-you see, we were -"

"Bambi!" two voices shout excitedly. Thumper and Flower arrive on scene, panting from running. "Bambi! Where were you? We thought you got lost!"

"Hi Thumper, Flower! I'm fine," Bambi quickly assures them.

"Whatcha doing with _him_?" Thumper's eyes narrow as he looks over at Ronno, who's still singing away, and sounding no better for it.

"Uh, it's kind of a long story," Bambi begins.

"Sayyy, Bambi!" Ronno finishes his song and looks at something just ahead of him. "Ha! Look at this! Look at all this! Have you ever eaten something _edible_? Well this is bark, and you see that's what bark is, it just barely is, and if you eat bark, like this stuff here, you know you're eating something _just barely _edible. Not the nicest thing to eat, so we save it for winter, but it is indeed edible. Coz that means it can be eaten, and all! Hahaha!"

Thumper and Flower, not understanding why Ronno is humiliating himself, and in front of the Great Prince no less, snicker half-secretly at the sight of it. The Great Prince frowns as Ronno begins to chew and tug at the fur on his leg, and coughs to get his attention. 'Gedzundheit!" Ronno smiles, before losing interest in that "bark" and tottering off down a nearby trail. He stops by a puddle in the ground, left over from a recent rainfall, and notices his reflection. "Ha! Look at this funny ol' guy! Loo's like he banged his head'n fell in a river, hahaha!" Then he frowns as recognition begins to seep in. With his hoof he compares the budding antlers on his head to those of the fawn in the puddle, compares his eyes, and compares his ears. "Huh. Whaddya know? It's ME! What a handsome, hansom fellow! No doe'll ever can resist me!" He begins to laugh yet again and strolls off, swaying zig-zagged along the trail. Talking to no one in particular, he alternates between a stage-whisper and a yell as he wonders out loud, "Sayyyy… where's ol' Faline? _She_ could'na resis' me, I'll bet! Heh. I loooovvve Faline! Where i'she now?"

As he watches the recent Ronno march off, beginning to sing, "Ohhhh, Faline, Faline, she i'so fair! Faline, Fa-ha-line, but she is where?" Bambi begins to feel extremely annoyed about the topic of Ronno's song, but forgets this when he turns and sees his father's stern face glaring down at him. "How did this happen, Bambi?"

"Uh, well, I'm not sure -" he mumbles nervously.

"Speak up."

Bambi sighs. "Ronno was chasing me, and we came to Man's dwelling -"

"What?"

"Ooh," Bambi's friends gasp, "Man's dwelling!"

"We didn't mean to!" Bambi quickly protests. "Man wasn't there, but I still wanted to leave right away, but Ronno stepped inside Man's shelter and - and I couldn't just leave him there!"

"Sure you could. I'd've left him and let Man deal with him!" Thumper crosses his paws and nods, though aside from Flower no one pays heed.

Bambi looks into his father's eyes, pleading with him to understand. His father gives no response, so he continues, "Man had this strange thing with this red watery stuff in it, like the juice from berries, and -"

"And you drank something of Man's?"

"No, honest I didn't! Ronno did before I could stop him and, and then he started acting really weird, like he is now. I swear, I never tried the juice, and I got us both away from there as fast as I could." Bambi continues to stare up at his father, not certain how he'll finally receive all this information.

The Great Prince considers his son's story, and sighs. "I believe you did the right thing, Bambi. It would have been a cowardly act to leave Ronno, foolish as he was, in such a dangerous place." His lips curl ever so slightly into a smile as his son's face brightens. He then looks to the side and sees the intoxicated fawn lying upside-down not too far up the trail.

"I can stand on my head!" Ronno proudly announces to everyone he thinks is listening. "I can sit on my head, and I can lie on my head, and I can even walk on my head! Oh yes! It's all up here!" So saying, he gives his head a smart tap with his hoof. "Ouch! Y'know, before that juice came along, there were so many things even I didn't know! And now I know everything there is to know! Like this!"

Watching him rant on, the Great Prince turns to Bambi and says, "Now, don't you think we ought to take your friend home to his mother?"

Bambi still doesn't consider Ronno a friend, but he just nods. "What's happened to him, anyway?" he inquires as they follow Ronno up the trail. Thumper and Flower tag along behind Bambi, hoping his father won't tell them to go home yet.

The Great Prince chuckles. "If I'm not mistaken, Man made his drink out of overly ripe berries. If a fruit remains ripe too long without being eaten, its juice changes in a peculiar way. Eating this fruit, especially in a large quantity, affects animals in a way much like what has happened to Ronno."

"Is he gonna be okay, then?"

"I imagine so, though he might feel sick tomorrow, depending on just how much he consumed."

"Is this why we're not allowed to eat a fruit that's too ripe?" Bambi motions towards himself and his friends.

"It is. Animals are not usually allowed to do so until they've matured."*

"You mean grown up?"

"Yes."

By this time they've reached Ronno, who is drawing circles in the dirt with his hoof, singing off-key once more. He looks up and sees the others looking at him. "Ohhhh, hey you guys!" he laughs, "Where've ya been? I've been lookin' EVERYwhere for you! I crossed rivers, I climbed MOUNTAINS, I even knocked over a hundred trees, but you were nowhere in sight! Boy, you're good! You're really, really, I mean REALLY good!"

"Come along now, Ronno, I'm sure your mother is anxious to have you back home," the Great Prince tells him.

Ronno looks up at him and smiles, then nods. "You're good, you know that? You're really good. Really good. Really."

Flower whispers to Bambi and Thumper, "Actually, I think I like him better this way!" They all share a grin, before beginning to guide Ronno, who is still very wobbly in his drunk as a skunk state, back home. Bambi turns to his father and (amidst Ronno's nonsensical speeches) declares, "I don't think I'll eat that sort of stuff even when I'm grown up."

The others, even the Great Prince, chuckle at his remark, but then Flower stops and frowns. "What did they just say a moment ago?"

**The End.**

**AN: And now you see how the title was inspired! I can't see Flower getting irate over anything, but I imagine that phrase "drunk as a skunk" would be terribly offensive to him. Now, as for those notes:**

*** I don't know how Bambi would have known Ronno fell into that mud pit, since he was long gone by the time it happened, but I thought his clever response to Ronno's remark about Thumper was too good not to include, and I couldn't see how else to fit it in.**

***I added in that whole concept of the forest creatures having their own way of getting drunk, by eating fruit that's so ripe it's fermented, partly on a whim and partly so there'd be a reason why the Great Prince understood how the wine Ronno drank had affected his system. In any case, if this were a real thing in the "Bambi" universe, I imagine even the animals of the forest would have "legal age" restrictions for such a practice.**

**Ronno may never become a **_**connoisseur**_**, but I can imagine he's going to have quite the hangover the next day! Considering some of the things he said and did in Bambi's presence, let's hope for his sake that Ronno doesn't remember anything that happened! XD**


End file.
